It Breaks My Heart

I am here again....I think it became my habit now to post when I am troubled inside. I think a lot these days....to the point that it gave me a headache.

My family back home, I felt so sorry for them. I wanted to help them in every way I could...I wanted to give them what they need, to provide them everything and make their life a lil bit easier....but I don't have the ability to do so. Even if I wanted to but I can't. I can't because I don't have anything....if only I have a lil bit of extra money in me right now..I will never hesitate to help them. I will help them right away without a doubt...but what can I do? I, myself needs it very badly too....I have responsibilities that needed to be taken care of. You know what? everytime, they asked for help and I can't help them right away, it breaks my heart into pieces. It troubled me, I have no peace of mind....because what I wanted to do is to give to them everything they need.

My heart is aching.....I felt so sad....I felt hopeless..I am frustrated for everything that happens right now. When will I be able to do everything for them? When will I be able to give them everything that they need? When will I be able to make their life a lil bit easier? I don't wish to be rich, I just wish I have extra money right now so, I could help them. I'm not asking for too much, am I?

I hope that tomorrow when I wake up, everything will be okay...if not tomorrow then maybe next day? or next next next day?....Just hope that one day, I will wake up and my family back home are doing great......that's all I want...that's my happiness.

Random Thoughts

How are you guys? I dunno if I still have a visitor of this blog of mine. I know it's been a while since my last post here. I was just being lazy the past months that's why I did not able to update. My life isn't boring though, I have lots of things to do for the past months..there are things that keep me busy and entertain me....aside from work, my friends keep visiting me at my house and we played cards. During my vacant time, I read fan fictions, watching videos at youtube, visiting forums that talks about idols in S. Korea...yeah, I'm still addicted to Kpop world and don't ask me why, I don't have a valid reason for that, lol.

Things are still the same, nothing much going on with my life. Sometimes there are uneventful days that passed and sometimes I am too busy to notice that a day has passed because of things that occupied my mind.

Okay, I just want to blab about everything here just to update this blog. I dunno though, I'm thinking of letting go of this blog...my domain subscription will expire on June and am still debating in my mind wether I'm going to renew my domain or not. I will probably miss this blog if ever I will decide to end my subscription...I have shared too many thoughts on this blog already. Well, let see if I will renew or not my domain on June. I don't have money in paypal anymore so maybe I will get the payment for the renewal from my own pocket...

Well, that's it for now. Have to get busy here....